What no one ever tells you

What no one ever tells you about having kids:

1.  Massive sleep deprivation. I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep when my kids were infants, but no one ever told me how many times you are up all night holding a puke bowl, or dealing with monsters (Big Jet from Little Einsteins is my daughters evil doer of choice), or kids not wanting to be alone, or their massive thirst at 3:00 am. Good times. Also, no one ever told me about the bed wars (trying to get your child to sleep in their own bed). We have never let our kids sleep with us, even when they were infants, but still we find our kids sneaking into our bed at night. There is nothing like getting kicked in the middle of the night, waking up being really mad at your husband, and then realizing you have a guest in your bed!

2. How many bodily fluids you have to clean up. Yes, probably, TMI, but I seriously almost threw up when I changed my sons diaper this morning.He also had massive acid re flux as a baby and he puked every few minutes. I remember a relative of mine being totally disgusted by that, and my husband told him to just wait, baby spit up is the cleanest thing that will come out of your child.

3. They are really expensive. People always talk about the cost of kids in terms such as feeding them, clothing them, educating them etc. I think the real cost comes in damages. My daughter’s damages have been relativity minor, just the CD player in the car and 1 DVD player. My son has broken 2 computers, the garage door, and 3 phones, and he is only 2, we have a lot of years to go!

4. Unexplained injuries. I bruise really easily, so I don’t really notice my bruises much, but my husband will come home from work and ask me what in the world happened to me. Then I’ll notice I have a bruise the size of an orange, and remember how my son did a drop kick move on me earlier that day.

5. They are master manipulators  My son is trouble, he is always doing something he knows he shouldn’t do. Whenever he gets caught he gives me this huge adorable grin and says “Hi Momma!” It makes me melt every time, it’s so hard to be mad at the little goober.

 It’s tough being a parent, no doubt about that. I am grateful I had my kids before I got sick, because I probably wouldn’t have had them if I had gotten sick first. Many people with chronic illness choose not to have kids, and I totally understand why, it’s very difficult to manage chronic illness when you don’t have any control over your schedule. For me personally, having a kids had been wonderful, even if they do drive me crazy!

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