It’s been a long year, a year full of many hard things. In December I hit my one year Lyme disease diagnoses mark. One year ago I thought I’d be cured by now. I thought my life would be back to normal, and it’s not. But one thing I have learned in the past year is while it is important to fight-fight for better treatment, fight for better help, fight for acceptance from others, fight for better answers- sometimes you have to just accept. I accept my new and modified life, I don’t like it, but I accept it. I have learned to live with the fact that there are some things that I will never do again, but I have also learned that there are many things I do now that I never did before.
Lyme disease and it’s resulting problems (fibro, CFS, Ebstein Barr, arthritis etc. etc.) has changed me, but 2012 was the year I learned to deal with it. 2012 was the year that things kept getting crappier, but I learned to not only manage, but to find happiness and contentment in my difficulties. While there was plenty of anger and sadness and frustration, I learned how to feel those feelings and deal with them, but to eventually move on and to let the negative feelings go. You couldn’t pay me to live this year over again, but as much as I am loath to admit it, I think it made me a better person. I just wish there was an easier way!