1. “You probably shouldn’t park in the handicap spot that’s for people who have real disabilities.”
Ah yes, good old “real disabilities.” I just love hearing that I don’t have a real sickness, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that illness that has destroyed my entire body is not real. I don’t have a handicap tag and I don’t think I need one yet, but I try to not judge people who park in handicap spots, even if they have no obvious disability.
2. “Why don’t you just get up and get over it?”
I love this one, especially since I get up and get over it every single day when I get out of bed. If someone’s illness could be cured by “getting up” there would be a lot less sick people in the world. I really think someone should give me an award for how much I get done every day while I’m in pain.
3. “I wish I could lay around and all day and do nothing, you’re so lucky”
Yeah it’s awesome not being able to do anything you want to do, it’s so much better so stay home and writhe in pain while you watch TV- said no one ever.
4. “You’re probably just depressed, my brother’s uncle’s friend’s girlfriend thought she was sick too, but it was really depression.”
Believe it or not, everyone in this world is not the same. Just because someone else was depressed doesn’t mean I am. With invisible illness, quite often depression is a side effect of the illness, but it is not the cause. In fact, I have already written about about that, here and here.
5. “If you would exercise more/eat only kale chips/see this doctor who by the way only takes cash/ took more vitamins/got a job/drank this special smoothie made out of the blood of an African frog/sacrificed a goat at midnight- you would feel better.”
I recognize that people are trying to help and I appreciate that, but I am not a millionaire so I can’t try all these “natural” treatments. I’m open to non traditional treatment in general, but it needs to be less than $50 to try and there needs to be some actual proof of it working before I try it.
So what do you say instead of these insulting things? Just be a friend, ask how they’re doing (and mean it), see if there is anything you can do to help,and most importantly, don’t judge.