One of my biggest frustrations with chronic illness is my new found super power- invisibility. I feel like people don’t ever see me. Just like everyone else I want people to see me, acknowledge me, and accept me. I’ve always been a behind the scenes kind of person and I’ve never liked the spotlight, but sometimes I think the people I interact with on a regular basis are hardly aware that I am there. I’m sure if I were jumping up and down and screaming they would notice, but quite frankly I do not have the energy to do it.
I want people to know me. I don’t want them to think of me as that sick person who always needs something or is always having a medical crisis. I want them to think of me as being kind hearted, caring, fun, quietly rebellious, sarcastic, adventurous, and little bit crazy because that’s who I am. Instead people seem to move around me but never approach me or acknowledge me. If people fully realized the courage that it takes for me to just step out my front door maybe I would be visible again. If they knew all the preparation it took for me to present a good face to the world, they might acknowledge me. I can only come to the conclusion that they don’t know me. So that leaves me with few choices a) Become an attention hog and try to get people to acknowledge my presence b) Don’t let it get to me and focus on the few people who do really know me and appreciate me. I choose answer b of course. I accept my power of invisibility and I refuse to let it bother me any more. After all invisibility is a super power, I’ll just have to make sure I only use it for good.