I’ve been absent from the blogging world for the past week because I restarted antibiotics and they make me feel terrible. I go back and forth on whether or not antibiotics are a good idea. On one hand I was functioning much better without them, on the other hand I was exhibiting early basic Lyme symptoms that need to be dealt with. A big part of me wants to live in denial and just chuck the antibiotics.
The past week has made me realize how well I was functioning before even though I didn’t think I was doing all that great. A week of having no energy sure took its toll on my house and even my diet (it’s a lot easier to eat healthy when you have the energy to cook). I’ve also been stuck around the house more which really makes me grumpy and irritable. I don’t think I’ve been all that fun to be around this week.
It’s been really frustrating to try to keep up a busy schedule while I’m feeling much worse then I have in a long time. A lot of what happens in my house falls on me and I didn’t realize how much I was doing until I couldn’t do it anymore. Suddenly there wasn’t a lot of food in the house because I hadn’t been able to go to the store. Suddenly no one had any clean clothes. Suddenly there were no clean dishes because no one else bothers to put their dishes in the dishwasher. Several people called because they needed help with various things and I was unable to help (which made me feel terrible). I’m going to have to reprogram myself *again* to realize that I can’t do everything otherwise I’ll fall apart. I dread doing it because it’s so hard for other people to understand why sometimes I’m fine and other times I’m not. Blerg, but that’s life. It’s just another cycle in the chronic illness roller coaster.