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Mother’s day is coming up in a few weeks and full disclosure, I hate it. My husband and children typically cook up a good breakfast, but more often than not I end up having to clean up the giant mess they made which makes me dwell on the crap shoot that is motherhood. I’m not an idealist, I always knew that parenthood would be hard, but no one told me how uncertain and vulnerable I’d feel on Mother’s Day year after year. Inevitably as I scrub the dirty dishes I end up feeling like a failure I think about how I wanted to be a better parent and how I always said I’d never yell at my kids (oh the idealism of youth). I also think about how chronic illness has made me into a different parent than I thought I would be. I resolve to do better and not have any regrets the next year, but that never works.
I used to think I was alone in my hatred of Mother’s Day, but the more women I talk to the more I hear that my feelings are pretty typical and that’s not just with mothers who have chronic illness. So with that delightful introduction about Mother’s Day I’ve put together a list of ways that you can make Mother’s Day just a little bit special for the Mother with chronic illness in your life.
- Spoonie Necklace
This necklace along with many other spoonie items on Etsy may be just the thing.
2. Empathy Cards
These cards are hilarious and on point. They nail what it’s like to live with chronic illness.
3. Book: How to be a mom with chronic illness
This book is a survival guide for Moms with chronic illness
4. Hot/cold pack
These packs can either be heated up in the microwave or cooled in the freezer depending on what type of pain you have.
5. Lounge wear
When you have a chronic illness comfort is very important. Many people deal with chronic pain, some people have sensitive skin, some people just can’t stand anything else that is uncomfortable on top of what they already deal with. This is why leggings are the best creation ever.
6. Internet Subscriptions
Chronic illness means staying home a lot which can be both boring and isolating and so many people with chronic illness use distractions. Netflix, Audible, and Hulu subscriptions can be a lifesaver.
7. Heated blanket
If you don’t live on the sun like I do (aka Texas), this electronic blanket would be amazing. People with chronic illness often have a hard time getting warm, and an electric blanket is the perfect fix.
This is a significant investment, but it’s so worth it. When you have a chronic illness cleaning is a never ending nightmare and a roomba can lighten that load. Vacuuming doesn’t seem like a lot of work until you have a chronic illness and that vacuum weighs more than a boulder. There’s something to be said for being able to click a button and then have the vacuuming taken care of.
9. Gift certificate for a massage
There’s nothing more relaxing than a good massage, but it’s something many mothers have a hard time buying for themselves.
10. Chronic illness subscription box
This would be a gift that kept on giving for as long as you want. There are several different ones out there such as ChronicAlly Box and Spoonie Essentials Box.
Of course gifts are not what makes Mother’s day even though it’s nice to get new things. What makes Mother’s Day is appreciation and love.