what it's like when the pain never goes away

What it’s like when pain never goes away

Some people are under the impression that pain is something that can be conquered. That if you just try hard enough you can beat it and live a normal life. So I  thought I’d share a few snapshots from my life with chronic pain. After all, life with chronic pain is absolutely the best, and I just love hurting all the time so much.

Some people are under the impression that pain is something that can be conquered. That if you just try hard enough you can beat it and live a normal life. It's not that simple. Click To Tweet

Painsomnia

It’s 2:00 am and I can’t sleep. I’m completely exhausted but I’m in too much pain. I feel like I got hit by a truck, but ooh what’s the thing glowing in the dark at the end of my bed. It’s my son’s fidget spinner. Maybe this will distract me enough to sleep.

2 hours later- still awake, still in pain, still spinning

Well, that didn’t work out the way I hoped, but I learned some cool tricks. Maybe I’ll buy one of these for myself!

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When you try to ignore chronic pain, it just makes things worse in the long run

Following my doctor’s crappy recommendations

My doctor says I need more exercise. Yay, I love to exercise! Oh wait, that was in my past life when my body didn’t hurt all the time. Hmmm, what exactly constitutes exercise? I waited in line at the store yesterday, does that count?

not bad

I always knew I was a winner.

When you try to ignore the pain

harvey3

Hurricane Harvey created a lot of devastation in my area. A normal person whose in pain all the time would probably listen to their body and not do any heavy labor.

I am not normal

And I don’t like to listen to my body, so sometimes I ignore it.

This is me (above) ignoring it.

Screw you chronic pain. Screw you, Hurricane Harvey. I WILL WIN!

*Spoiler alert- I lost, but I took a lot of molded drywall with me

When you try to ignore the pain, it only makes things worse in the long run.

 

Parenting

Parenting with chronic pain isn’t really that hard. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Yeah, that’s a lie. It’s super hard. My son thinks he’s a cat so he’s currently perched atop the chair that I’m sitting on. If I ask him to get down he’ll just fall on me anyway so I might as well take my chances with him staying up there. Please don’t let him fall on me, please don’t let him fall.

Update- He fell

*Spoiler alert- It hurt a lot. To be clear it didn’t hurt him, he landed on something soft (me)

Cleaning

On a good day, I’m full of good tips for cleaning with chronic pain. Is today a good day? Well I got the mop out and I’m looking at it and that makes me feel very accomplished. Okay okay, I’ll mop the floor, I’m supposed to ignore all the signals my body is sending, right?

clean all the things

Well, the floor is clean and now I’m on the couch. At least I have the satisfaction I sacrificed my body for a good cause.

clean all the things 2

Oh look at that, my son spilled chili all over the floor I just cleaned.

Bad pain days

It’s a bad pain day so I have to cancel my plans. Here’s what all the healthy people think I’m doing:

eating

Here’s what I’m actually doing:

bed-1836316_960_720

As you can see I’m eating marshmallows and watching soap operas. My life is the best.


 

When you live with chronic pain the pain never goes away. It eats on you, wears you down, prevents you from living your life.

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7 thoughts on “What it’s like when pain never goes away

  1. Oh my gosh, I can completely relate to this….and feel your pain (along with my own)! For me, the worst of the pain is in my neck and shoulders. That’s the pain that I can’t ease no matter what I try. It can truly remove me from life.

  2. Bless you for helping out with Harvey. Your brother-in-law’s cousins got hit pretty bad. We were in England when Our nephew Jake called needing some professional help from Uncle James. We told him we were going on a cruise and he said “during a hurricane?!” We felt bad we couldn’t help. They got four feet of water in their house and Jake was working on rescues with the National Guard while Caroline took the kids to Dallas. Tough times. Our cruise was wonderful! We went with Jon and Beverly Neville. I took care of myself and got the rest I needed. I actually bought and took a travel wheelchair. I only used it once but it was nice to know it was there. I paced myself!! I still came back exhausted but my mantra is ” the pain passes, the beauty remains.” I hope the beauty of your extreme service remains with you. It inspires me!! I want to help so bad! I’ll try to find a way.

    1. Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear about your nephew. I can’t even imagine how stressful that must have been for his family. Lately I’ve been trying to help in non physical ways. Since so many families at my kids’ school were flooded out I’ve been helping to buy school supplies, or cover kids’ after school activity fees. Little things like that. It’s not as satisfying as physical labor, but every little bit helps.

  3. Your verbage allowed me to better process. I was attacked by a patient and overnight my life has has overturned. Thank you!

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