I don’t care what they’re going to say

I just took my kids to see the new Disney movie, “Frozen” and was struck by the song Let it Go. I know it sounds really cheesy that a Disney movie practically brought me to tears, but I’m super lame like that (and I just like cheesy, Disney has me pegged). I could quote the whole song, but here’s my favorite lines:

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back any more
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care what they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on
the cold never bothered me anyway

Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

Let it go can mean so many different things, but I’ve decided that it should be my theme for this year. I found a joke “painfully truth” version of this song which was comprised of “F*** you, F*** everyone” for every line. I thought it was pretty funny, but that was not what I got out of it. For me there is a difference between F*** the world, and refusing to be a doormat anymore. 

I’m tired of being the good responsible person who always puts herself last. I’m tired of being the person whom people always rely on to get things done and the person people always want to listen to their problems, but never care to acknowledge or to listen to. I’m tired of pretending things are okay when sometimes they are not. I’m tired of being the perfect girl who always does what she is supposed to do and not being my authentic self. I’m tired of always controlling my temper but bearing the brunt of everyone else’s. So this year I’m going to let it go and focus on being me instead of always pleasing other people. I’m officially done with trying to meet everyone’s expectations and instead I’m going to start meeting my expectations

It’s day five of the new year and already I’ve put this to the test. I lost my temper today when an adult who had no business to yelled at my children, several times. My kids were not behaving perfectly and I was trying to manage the situation when someone butted their nose in and yelled at them. I was pissed. You can mess with me all you want but you mess with my kids the claws come out. I yelled at her to stop, which was not the best way to deal since I was at church (nothing like learning about loving one another and then nearly strangling a fellow churchgoer in the hallway). At least I didn’t swear at her, she probably would have had a stroke!  I’m sure I’ve made a permanent enemy but I walked away from the situation feeling good that I didn’t let someone treat me or my kids inappropriately. I’m done with putting up with other people’s bad behavior while constantly controlling what I do and what I say so I don’t hurt anyone or offend anyone. Done. Did I mention I was done? I will protect myself and my family and I don’t care what other people think. The truth is my authentic self isn’t always nice or perfectly controlled, but the authentic me will do anything for my family, and at the end of the day I feel good about that.

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3 thoughts on “I don’t care what they’re going to say

  1. My authentic self isn't always nice and the perfect good girl facade gets tiresome sometimes. Not that I don't try to better myself, but I'm very far from perfect. I think you are a wonderful person and your attitude here is awesome.


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