Chronic illness is hard

I woke up this morning wondering if I could physically get out of bed. I was in so much pain I didn’t think I could actually move, I wanted to curl up in a ball and weep but even that would have hurt too much. Unfortunately for me life didn’t give me the option of listening to body,  I had to get out of bed. As a lay there and thought of all the things I had to do today I kept thinking about how stupid it was that I couldn’t listen to what my body was telling me.
This is why chronic illness is so hard.
Trying to be a functioning human being when I am sick is a never ending battle that I always lose. There are so many “have to” non optional things on my to do list.
When you have to take your kids to school.
When you have to take a sick kid to the doctor
When your bills have to be paid
When you have to call the insurance company
When you have to go to the pharmacy or go without medication
When you have to go to the grocery store or face starvation
When you have to argue with the doctor that overcharged you.
When you have to try to get a doctor’s appointment (it’s not as simple as calling and scheduling anymore everything has to be complicated).
When you have to feed your children even though they are too picky to eat the food you made, so it’s a pointless endeavor. 
When you have to clean the kitchen so you don’t attract bugs.
When you have to answer the phone because you know the person won’t leave you alone until you do.
When you have to do laundry because you have no more clean clothes.
Sometimes it’s just hard to catch a break with such a long list of basic things on the “have to” list. It makes days like today really rough.  The important thing is to do as much as you can on the good days and ignore as much as you can on the bad ones.

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3 thoughts on “Chronic illness is hard

  1. "The important thing is to do as much as you can on the good days and ignore as much as you can on the bad ones."

    That's about the sum of it. You're right– trying to do life with chronic illness is SO much harder than just doing ordinary life. Not only are you worn down by the mundanities that everyone faces (and also complains about, regardless of spoon count lol), but you're also fighting a second harder, grander, and more intense battle every second of the day. So tiring. I feel you… and you have my sympathies.

  2. Hi Shelley, my D.O. says that I am "a healthy but fragile adult" and I am "a delicate flower." I don't even get the flu and my immune system is so compromised it is below normal on the charts. But, let me take a book off the shelf and I could throw my back out. I certainly understand what you are going through. I have Fibro., chronic Lyme, had ParvoVirus B19 a.k.a. Fifth Disease at age 58, spinal stenosis, neurodermatitis, deg. joint disease, etc.) If you look at me sideways I will bruise and can't turn a door knob very often without bruising my fingers. I am 62 y.o. and was forced to retire early because I just couldn't do it anymore. Not what I planned to be doing when I retired but as long as I have my loving husband beside me I'll be content to live out my remaining years as "a delicate flower." You are in my thoughts and prayers. 🙂

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