A simple mix up at the doctors office has affected my whole week. I was at the doctors office a few weeks ago and they forgot to refill my prescription. I realized it as I was leaving, so they told me just to have the pharmacy fax in the refill. The pharmacy did so, and the doctors office denied the refill. I have now spent the last 7 days without any of the medication that allows me to sleep. Ergo, I have spent the last seven days without sleep. Every day I call the doctors office, every day they fail to fill the prescription. I spend my day calling and calling and trying to get heartless employees to help me.
Yes, my doctors office is staffed by incompetent morons, but the reality is that this situation is not unusual. It happens to everyone who needs a medication just to survive. Which is why despite the fact that I am somewhat physically functional, I will never live a normal life. I need medication in order to sleep and I will need it for the rest of my life. Which means that my life is always going to be in the hands of someone else. Whether it’s a doctor, an office staffer, a pharmacist, or an insurance company. They all have power over me. I can dream about living a normal life, getting a job, having a social life, sleeping when I’m tired, but I can never count on it because I never know when the medicine that keeps me functional is going to disappear.
I rarely cry about being sick. I rarely cry about anything, but this realization had me in tears. I hate the someone else has so much control over me. I hate that I can’t sleep unless the useless idiots from my doctors office decide to come through. I hate that there is no recourse for me. I hate that there isn’t another doctor with a competent staff for me to go to. I hate that I can’t ever be normal.