Why am I awake? Sleeping with chronic illness


I wrote a post here about my steps to achieving a good nights sleep. My sleeping situation has changed since then (less interruption from children, more interruption from painsomnia) so it needed an update.

8:00 pm- Take muscle relaxant in order to aim for a 10:30 pm bedtime.

9:00 pm- Drink some sleepy time herbal tea in hopes to calm my brain

10:30 pm- Turn off light and tell myself I’m really going to fall asleep this time.

10:32 pm- Rotate because my side is hurting

10:35 pm- Rotate the other way

10:37 pm- Turn on heating pad to help with the pain

10:40 pm- Rotate again

10:45 pm- Realign the heating pad that has been moved around with all the rotating

10:50 pm- Remember that I forgot to sign my child’s field trip form. Get up, sign it and stick in the correct backpack.

10:55- Back in bed, PAIN

11:00 pm- Child comes wandering in claiming they can’t sleep. Patiently convince them to go back to bad.

11:10 pm- Child appears again. Not so patiently convince them back to bed.

11:15 pm- Remember I forgot to take some medication.

11:20 pm- Suppress sudden craving for mozzarella sticks

11:25 pm- Still thinking about mozzarella sticks

11:30 pm- Mozzarella sticks are really good at Sonic. Fast food is such a terrible industry, they really don’t pay more than minimum wage. America has some serious economic problems. I wonder who will be President next year? What if it’s Donald Trump? I will have to move to Canada, but Canada is cold and I hate being cold. I need a new winter coat, but it’s February and it’s like 80 degrees outside, so I probably won’t need one until next winter. Crap, I have to wear shorts for the next nine months. I hate shaving my legs so I can wear shorts. Hair is annoying. If I had blond hair I wouldn’t have to shave my legs so much. What would I look like as a blond? I’d look weird. It’s a good thing I wasn’t born a blond…

11:55 pm- Sudddenly realize it’s almost midnight and start panicking that I’m still awake.

12:00 am- PAIN. My body is the worst.

12:10 am- Almost asleep but then husband starts snoring, so I’m back awake.

12:12 am- Panda bears are so cute

12:15 am- Why does everything hurt so much?

12:20 am- I still want mozzarella sticks. What time does Sonic close?


12:30 am- Focusing on a calm river, a small breeze. I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I AM RELAXED

12:35 am- You know, I said something stupid to a friend a few weeks ago. I wonder if they are mad at me? Should I have said something different? Will they ever forgive me? Oh my goodness, is our friendship ruined FOREVER? What will I do if I don’t have any friends? I can’t live without friends! What if I’m alone FOREVER?

12:50 am- PAIN -> rotate again


3:00 am- Woken up by husband’s snoring. PAIN -> rotate again

3:05 am – Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why haven’t I done more with myself? I am nothing, TEARS.

3:30 am- You are a strong confident women!

3:35 am – I hope I don’t have to move to Canada

3:40 am- I’m such an idiot

3:45 am- I hate everyone who is sleeping right now.

3:55 am- I hate my new haircut

4:15 am- I hate my insurance company

4:20 am- I’m such an idiot, I screw up everything

4:25 am- You are a strong confident women!


7:00 am- Awake. I still want mozzarella sticks

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2 thoughts on “Why am I awake? Sleeping with chronic illness

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh My GOSH!!! This was AWESOME!!!! I can SO relate to this! It’s crazy that as my FMS has gotten worse over the years, so has the inability to fall and stay asleep! Sorry for using so many ‘!s’ ! Thanks for the laugh today!

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