- Think about how much sleep you’ll have if you fall asleep…now
11:00 pm- If I fall asleep now I’ll get 8 hours of sleep, I should be well rested
2:00 am- If I fall asleep now, I’ll still get 5 hours of sleep. I’ll be fine, it will all be fine.
4:00 am- OH MY GOODNESS I’LL ONLY GET 3 HOURS OF SLEEP
5:00 am- ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
6:00 am- ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Rotate every 2 minutes
Ugh, this isn’t comfortable.
This hurts too
Maybe if I sleep on my side
Rotate…and repeat 300 times
I feel like a rotisserie chicken
3. Vaguebook your feelings all night long
1:00 am- Ugh, I really wish I could sleep, being an insomniac is so hard
2:00 am- My life is so difficult, I’m having such a hard time
2:05 am- Help me, people hurt my delicate princess feelings
2:30 am- So done, my life is the worst
3:00 am- I can’t tell you why I’m having a hard time, just know that my life is worse than yours
3:00 am- Thank you to the person who knows how hard my life is
3:05 am- If you feel the need to be superior then you’re stupid
3:30 am- I’m so over people
4:00 am- No one talk to me right now!
4:30 am- Thank you to the few people alive that support me
5:00 am- Shocking things happened today, but I can’t share the details
6:00 am- Signing off now, if you love me you’ll know why
4. Rage throw your alarm for going off two minutes after your finally fall asleep
Die alarm, DIE!
5. Refuse to get out of bed for the next three days
It’s just too haaaaaarrrrrrrddddddd, I can’t live like this!
6. Binge watch sad Netflix movies so you can cry without feeling guilty
They have true love, why can’t I have that? WHY?
7. Close all the blinds, put on a eye mask, and pretend you live in a cave
To the humans in my vicinity: cross the bedroom barrier at your own risk. I’m not responsible for damages that may occur.
8. Comfort yourself with the fact that some studies say intelligent people have a harder time sleeping at night
I may be insane, but at least I have my brain to comfort me.
9. Rage at all the people who can go to bed and sleep whenever they feel like it. Wish you were stupid like them.
If only I were a plebeian like all the stupid people.
10. Rely on caffeine to save the day
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