Some people are under the impression that pain is something that be conquered. That if you just try hard enough you can beat it and live a normal life. So I thought I’d share a few snapshots from my life with chronic pain. After all, life with chronic pain is absolutely the best, and I just love hurting all the time so much.
It’s 2:00 am and I can’t sleep. I’m completely exhausted but I’m in too much pain. I feel like I got hit by a truck, but ooh what’s the thing glowing the dark at the end of my bed. It’s my son’s fidget spinner. Maybe this will distract me enough to sleep.
2 hours later- still awake, still in pain, still spinning
Well that didn’t work out the way I hoped, but I learned some cool tricks. Maybe I’ll buy one of these for myself!
Following my doctor’s crappy recommendations
My doctors says I need more exercise. Yay, I love to exercise! Oh wait, that was in my past life when my body didn’t hurt all the time. Hmmm, what exactly constitutes exercise? I waited in line at the store yesterday, does that count?
I always knew I was a winner.
When you try to ignore the pain
Hurricane Harvey created a lot of devastation in my area. A normal person whose in pain all the time would probably listen to their body and not do any heavy labor.
I am not normal
And I don’t like to listen to my body, so sometimes I ignore it.
This is me (above) ignoring it.
Screw you chronic pain. Screw you Hurricane Harvey. I WILL WIN!
*Spoiler alert- I lost, but I took a lot of molded drywall with me
Parenting with chronic pain isn’t really that hard. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Yeah, that’s a lie. It’s super hard. My son thinks he’s a cat so he’s currently perched atop the chair that I’m sitting on. If I ask him to get down he’ll just fall on me anyway so I might as well take my chances with him staying up there. Please don’t let him fall on me, please don’t let him fall.
Update- He fell
*Spoiler alert- It hurt a lot. To be clear it didn’t hurt him, he landed on something soft (me)
On a good day I’m full of good tips for cleaning with chronic pain. Is today a good day? Well I got the mop out and I’m looking at it and that makes me feel very accomplished. Okay okay, I’ll mop the floor, I’m supposed to ignore all the signals my body is sending, right?
Well, the floor is clean and now I’m on the couch. At least I have the satisfaction I sacrificed my body for a good cause.
Oh look at that, my son spilled chili all over the floor I just cleaned.
Bad pain days
It’s a bad pain day so I have to cancel my plans. Here’s what all the healthy people think I’m doing:
Here’s what I’m actually doing:
As you can see I’m eating marshmallows and watching soap operas. My life is the best.