to the person with chronic illness who feels like they're never good enough

To the person with chronic illness who feels like they’re never good enough

 The feeling of being never good enough sneaks up on you. I know it feels like no one thinks about you, the quiet person in the corner who just looks a little tired. No one notices how hard you try or how much effort you put into pretending you’re okay. They don’t notice that you’re faking being well.  Sometimes it feels like they only notice you when you make a mistake, or when your vulnerability shows. They might notice when you just can’t keep up anymore, or when you seem to be constantly letting them down. They might only notice that you’re just a little off, or that your life isn’t the same as theirs. They might notice when you can’t do the same things that they do, or when you can’t join in on basic trivial conversations.  They might notice that you just don’t quite fit in for some reason.
Some people treat you like you’re a failure, but I know better. I know that you are doing the best you can. Every day you get up and do all that your body will let you do, and that is enough. Don’t let them convince you that merely trying harder or having a better attitude makes everything go away so you can be the same as everyone else.


Celebrate the small victories to help you stop feeling like you’re never good enough

It’s hard to value yourself when you constantly feel like you don’t measure up. That’s why when you feel discouraged or you feel like you can’t ever do anything right, you need to celebrate the small victories. Remember that the little things are important and worth paying attention to.  Here are some basic steps to remember:

  • No one else may recognize your victories, but you deserve to reward yourself. Take a moment to remind yourself how awesome you are. Enjoy your happiness, you deserve it

 

  • Remember that even a small win can show you the progress you have made and will provide you with encouragement to keep fighting.

 

  • If you are feeling discouraged make a list of all the things you did that day that was hard for you to accomplish. You will notice that you are accomplishing more than you think.

 

  • Focus on what you have done right, not what you have done wrong. Every day is a new battle when you have a chronic illness, so don’t get down on yourself if things don’t go the way you planned.

being brave doesn't mean you're fearless, it means you wake up every day and face obstacles most people never dream of

Don’t forget that you are brave and that you are good enough

When you feel discouraged, don’t ever forget that you are brave. That doesn’t mean that you are fearless, it means that every day you wake up and fight the pain that would send a healthy person running to the emergency room. It means you face obstacles that most people can’t even dream of. It means that you continually fight for better medical treatment. It means that you manage to find joy and light despite your suffering. It means that you care about other people’s pain, despite the fact that you can barely deal with your own. It means that your illness has made you a more loving and compassionate person. It means you face down your fears every single day. It means that even though your dreams have changed, you still dream. It means that your illness may have broken you, but you put the pieces back together and made yourself better. It means that you are an amazing and valuable human being, even if other people don’t recognize you as such.

Keep fighting the good fight. The people around you may or may not change. They may or may not learn to accept you and your illness, but even if they don’t that doesn’t mean you aren’t inherently valuable. You deserve to be here as much as a healthy person, you have a place in this world. Your life is not without meaning or purpose. Keep on fighting.

Living with chronic illness is lonely and you're always left feeling like you're never good enough good enough.

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5 thoughts on “To the person with chronic illness who feels like they’re never good enough

  1. At one time I was an extremely active person. After crushing my spine 14 years ago plus having fibro, I am virtually helpless. I am 64 and bedridden. I no longer have any dreams, goals, or desires. I am not more loving and compassionate. I am full of hate and anger. My children are grown and married and have no use or need for me. My grandchildren prefer their other grandparents who can be active with them. Every day is the same as the last. I can’t even commit suicide without failing. I’ve tried. So I wait here. Hoping to die sometime soon.

    1. Dearest Memom…please, please reach out to a suicide prevention hotline or check out The Mighty online. Then reread this blog post. No matter how confined your life my seem there is a reason and purpose for it. I am like you in that my grandkids prefer their other grandparents but they are still MY grandchildren too. My children live far enough away also that I don’t see them regularly. But they are still MY children. My husband has passed away and the house we built together stands empty now waiting to be sold. I moved into an assisted living facility…best move I ever made even though I didn’t want to at first. If you have a spiritual belief hang onto it with all your heart. You have a meaning and a purpose. You just need to find it. You are in my heart and in my thoughts and prayers. Please reach out to the hotline or to some you trust. I am sending you hugs and prayers.

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